16th Issue English

Sunday Lipi | 16th Issue | July, 3rd Week

Contributors

The Peacock (One-Act Play)

Act Two

(Act one is published in Lipi on the second week of May)

Characters: Primary three pupils; all the pupils of the school; Mr. Ajani, the security man; Mrs. Udonmaji, the school administrator, and the existing characters in act one

Act Two Scene One

At the exam period during the rotating teaching term, teachers are paired on the timetable for invigilation of pupils. Miss Folakemi is addressing other teachers prior to the commencement of the exams.

Miss Folakemi: (to the teachers) Good morning everybody. I hope you all had a blissful weekend?

All the teachers: Good morning; yes oo!

Miss Folakemi: Good to hear this, God is our strength anyway. I believe that all of us have seen the timetable for the exam supervision that Mr. Oshinowo drafted?

All the teachers: Yes

Miss Folakemi: And you are pleased with it?

All the teachers: Yes

Miss Folakemi: Good that you are now used to ‘yes’ as a response to my questions, and not ‘yes ma’; because most of you here are older than I am.  Let be observant of the classes we are posted to when the exam start.

All the teachers: Okay.

Miss Folakemi: In addition, every class teacher should keep the exam questions of their class. When it is time to have a subject, the invigilators should go to the class teacher and collect the questions of such a subject. I wish you all sound health during the examination, none shall fall sick in Jesus name.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: Amen

Mr. Ogunkola: Ameeeeen!

Mr. Oshinowo: Why did you prolong the ‘amen’, Mr. Ogunkola?

Mr. Ogunkola: It’s because I don’t want excreting and vomiting issues. (Rubbing his head with his left palm) of course, experience is the best teacher they do say, it has happened to someone a few years ago.

Mr. Oshinowo: Happened to someone years ago? (Pauses a while) okay okay, yes Mr. Ogunkola; you are absolutely right, I understand you now.

Mr. Ogunkola: It was unfortunate that the person in question did not go for the remaining prescribed injections.

Mr. Oshinowo: Yes, the person did not.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: Two of you are not serious.

All the teachers laugh and light fades.

 

Scene Two

The exam has started; every paired teacher for supervision is in the class they are posted to. Miss Folakemi begins going from one class to another, leaving the class where she was paired with Mr. Oshinowo, to tell the teachers about a new self-decided development regarding the ongoing examination.

Miss Folakemi: (Walking into primary one where Miss Ewuoso and Mr. Ogunkola are) Well doing o. I want to tell you that we will be doing two subjects in a day throughout the exam period.

Mr. Ogunkola: Two subjects in a day? Why?

Miss Folakemi: Please Mr. Ogunkola, you don’t need to ask about this; please.

Mr. Ogunkola: I need to ask. A decision of yours that you did not tell when the timetable of the exam was drafted by Mr. Oshinowo and presented before all of us for deliberation, as instructed by the school administrator, Mrs. Udonmaji. Now that the timetable has been typed, after the agreement among us to be having three subjects in a day; you changed it. Of course, I need to ask.

Miss Folakemi: Anyway, why I said this is that primary- one pupils are not fast as others.

Mr. Ogunkola: But this should not be a reason to change the content of the timetable for all the classes, it should be primary one alone. And more also, these pupils can cope with the three subjects as well; at least from 8.00am to 12.00pm that we close school for the lower classes is enough for them to do the three subjects. Don’t forget Miss Folakemi that the pupils have five days to write twelve subjects.

Miss Folakemi: (Ignoring Mr. Ogunkola as she approaches Miss Ewuoso) Miss Ewuoso, listen to this.

Miss Ewuoso: (Interrupts her) I heard all your conversations; I think Mr. Ogunkola is right because we don’t have enough time.

Miss Folakemi: But I thought you will reason with me because Mr. Ogunkola is under exam pressure. Why did you say the same thing?

Mr. Faseunfunmi: (Comes to pry one to take stapler, and he interferes) Miss Folakemi, I and Mrs. Oluyinka told you that this can’t be possible.

Miss Folakemi: (Remains speechless as she leaves)

Light fades.

 

Scene Three

On the third day of the exam, Miss Folakemi and Mr. Faseunfunmi are paired on the timetable for supervision of one of the subjects she taught. They are in primary one, calling the pupils one after the other for the exam.

Miss Folakemi: (leaves primary one for primary three where Mr. Ogunkola and Mrs. Oluyinka are supervising) please I want to address the pupils.

Mr. Ogunkola and Mrs. Oluyinka: Okay

Miss Folakemi: Thanks (to pupils) I want to make word bank on the board; you will choose the correct one for each of the questions in the theory part.

Pupils: Okay ma’am.

Mr. Ogunkola: (Looking at her)

Mrs. Oluyinka: (Soliloquising) why is she writing the answer on the board? She did the same things to primary six pupils when they had Basic Science yesterday. Is this not an examination malpractice? Anyway, she is the head teacher of the school.

Mr. Ogunkola 🙁 engages in soliloquy) what all these for? I know she does not want any lapse, as regards the pupils’ performances, to be exposed to the public views, so that she won’t be criticised by the school management, particularly Mrs. Udonmaji.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: (Enters primary three) But why did you leave me alone in primary one?  And you know that the activities in the class are more arduous than other classes.

Miss Folakemi: I’m sorry Mr. Faseunfunmi; I just want to write some words on the board from which they can choose the right answer.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: But I think they don’t need this, you have taught them after all.

Miss Folakemi: This is how I want it Mr. Faseunfunmi.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: Okay; but let go and finish the work in primary one first, then you can start going from one class to another as you used to do any time they have any of your subjects.

Light fades.

 

Scene Four

Teachers and Mr. Ajani are under a palm tree on break time to get fresh air onto their body, while discussing common issues.

Mr. Ajani: We don’t even know where we are going in this country; the price of everything inflated! Where are we going? I think this is a sensible question we need to ask ourselves, and provide a right answer to.

Mr. Ogunkola: May God deliver the sheep from the uneasiness caused by the shepherds for the sheep in their various dwelling places.

Mr. Oshinowo: This prayer deserves a very big amen.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: Yes it is o, the vexatious part of it is that the price of things increased; as Pa Ajani said but the salaries WE collect do not increase.

Mrs. Oluyinka: It would have been better if we are spending the little amount we earn at the end of the month on food, clothing and shelter, and we are living in peace: and there is safety and security for us. But everywhere is not safe to live; there are tons of killings, abductions, rapes and tumults everywhere every day.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: (Cuts in) what time are we closing school on the vacation day Mr. Oshinowo?

Mr. Oshinowo: Why are you asking me?

Mr. Faseunfunmi: Because you are part of the administrative body of the school: you will know better about the important information which may be hidden to other staff.

Mr. Oshinowo: I am part of the school administrative body or what did you just say; who appointed me: you? Anyway, what I know is that I am a staff of this school and I don’t know anything regarding the closing time on the vacation day. What is the essence of being given a post in an organisation, and the responsibilities of one are being executed by another person who knows all? I think you should go and ask your head teacher, the life wire of the school.

Mr. Ajani:   You are asking for the time you will leave on Friday right?

Mr. Faseunfunmi: Yes Papa because I have something important to do at home as early as 12.30 pm that day.

Mr. Ajani: (Laughing) when your boss has not started marking the exam scripts, let alone planning to record the pupils’ scores in the two subjects she taught.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: Eehm! This is unbelievable, since Tuesday and Wednesday that the pupils have written her two subjects?

Mr. Ajani: I am telling you nothing but a fact.

Mr. Ogunkola: I am pleased with any time we leave that day.

Mr. Oshinowo: Of course, I am not in a hurry.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: That’s for you, but as for me, I am going to somewhere to do something important at 12 noon.

Light fades.

 

Scene Five

On Friday of the vacation, all the teachers and Mr. Ajani are waiting inside the hall of the school for Miss Folakemi to finish her report cards.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: (Frowns, moving from one corner of the hall to another; the sound of the sole of his shoe can be clearly heard by someone who is at a distance of five kilometres to the hall) I don’t even know what Miss Folakemi was doing since Monday that made her not to have finished the report cards of his class. And she is always the one that criticises others in performing their responsibilities.

Mr. Oshinowo: It’s not amazing to me, I know she would delay us today; this is because some classes were still writing continuous assessment tests in her subjects on Wednesday.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: Whaaaaaat? I did not hear you.

Mr. Oshinowo: You heard; because if you didn’t, you won’t shout like that.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: What kind of person is this lady? Oh! This lady is an occlusion to one’s success.

Mr. Oshinowo: How?

Mr. Faseunfunmi: This is already 11.10 am; when are we going to leave here that I will meet up with where I am going?

Mr. Oshinowo: Oh! I understand you now.

Mr. Ajani: (Laughing) afisuuru; it requires patience.

Mr. Ogunkola: You are right sir; a patient person cooks a stone to the cooked level that can be eaten. What I am quite sure of is that we will vacate today: it will never be other day but today.

Mr. Oshinowo: Yes, that’s certain.

Miss Ewuoso: Of course yes.

Mrs. Oluyinka: We will surely vacate today.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: When! When! When!

Other teachers: (Laughing hilariously)

Miss Folakemi: (Enters the hall majestically) I am so sorry for the delay. (To Mr. Faseunfunmi) please tell pupils to say the closing prayer. I am talking to you Mr. Faseunfunmi.

Mr. Faseunfunmi: (in a complete muted state)

Miss Folakemi: Why do you normally act like this?

Miss Ewuoso: (Stands up and faces the pupils) in Jesus name, we thank you O Lord our Savour… in Jesus name we prayed.

Miss Folakemi: Thanks you Miss Ewuoso (to the pupils) you are going on vacation now, please always obey your parents at home during the holiday. Your report cards will be given to you now; go straight to your various houses.

Pupils: yes ma’am.

Pupils are dismissed after the report cards had been given to them and light fades.

The End

Causes and Consequences of Excessive Desire for Material Wealth among Nigerian Ministers of God

It is good to gather wealth by human beings but the desire for it through crooked means among Nigerian ministers of God is alarming. The causes of the excessive desire for material wealth among them are as follows.

Self-interest is one of the causes of desire for material wealth among Nigerian ministers of God. Ministers of God want to have not one house/ministry but several ones. To achieve these, they dubiously deprived so many people of the benefit of having these things by falsifying figures, robbing, killing, and by doing other negative things.

Another cause is the desire of many of them to have power. Power at times intoxicates those who seek after it. Some Nigerian ministers of God erroneously believe that acquiring more wealth will bring them recognition and influence. Once these people acquired power, they wield more of it in their community or society. The members of their churches and the nation at large, place priority on their wealth by neglecting their moral aspect. These same ministers of God are seen using their wealth to bribe their way to the position of authority. The positions they desire do not create room for them to be elected, but through their wealth, the moral and academic qualifications for the post are overlooked. Nowadays, one does not know who possesses an academic doctorate or honourary doctorate. All you could hear is pastor Dr. …, whereas in the written form, one will be able to know which ‘Doctor’ people are referring to if it is included in parenthesis or not.

In addition, myopic plan for the future is another cause of  Nigerian ministers of God’s desire for material wealth. Some ministers of God do not consider the plight of their congregation or the poor in society. Their plan is for their children not to pass through what they went through. To avoid this, they save for their future alone, by acquiring acres of land, a  fleet of cars, several companies, several ministry outlets, and houses for their wives and children instead of giving them a lasting legacy which is education and good moral upbringing. Today, after these members of God are dead, there will be lots of disagreement in the churches they built between their children and the church members. Here, they seek legal support rather than spiritual ones. It is so disheartening seeing Nigerian ministers of God dragging themselves to the court of law – what a shame!

For every cause of action, there must be consequences. Firstly, no excessive desire for material wealth is achievable without going into dangerous activities. These risky activities cause untimely death. We have had instances of Nigerian ministers of God killing their church members and innocent ones for money rituals.

Secondly, because of their myopic plan for the future, the ministers of  God are not producing good leaders. Instead, we have infamous ones who are blindly celebrated by their followers. What do you expect from myopic ministers of God, who are corrupt, selfish and morally bankrupt, whose legacy is negative?

Thirdly, the negative impact of ministers of God on their children is a dilemma. Most of these people who left a lot for their children add to their problems. After their demise, their inheritance tore the family apart because they did not train their children morally and academically. It is clearly stated in the book of Proverbs 22:6 that we should “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” What these ministers of God created for their children and unborn generation is a curse to their family. The children fight over the property, in the process, they kill themselves and at the same time apply JuJu (charms) on themselves. Some run madly while some live a wayward life.

What are the solutions to the causes and consequences of Nigerian ministers of God’s excessive desire for material wealth? To curb these anomalies, Nigeria Government needs to make legislation to check the excesses that may arise from the incessant establishment of various religious ministries in the country. These ministers of God should be investigated to know the ones called by God and those that called themselves. The association of respective religious bodies should not be left out in curbing the lapses among these ministers of God. By doing so, these bodies will be able to know the true ministers of God. The religious bodies will determine the attitude of the so-called ministers of God before their enlistment into their association. If all these suggestions are taken into consideration, there will be development, unity and peace in the various denominations and the country at large.

Single-cell Organism

The aliens decided to show. They have been here long since. But they camouflage perfectly. They observed us, came in, and left. Among them there were the representatives of some races and species. They assimilated quickly and we accepted their existence. Their children went to our schools.

They studied with us and lived among us.

They have a weakness – they loved cells. Each alien has a few with him.

Humans intercepted this stupid fashion. Some, however, opposed against it. Antek parents despite strong entreaties of offspring decided that he will have only one cell. Children played him up…

Green Hyryd waved his tentacles. He held cells and laughed at Antek:

 – You… you single-cell organism!

Please Purify And Placate My Soul

Ndaba Sibanda

I recall when I asked you to be my juice,
elixir, honeybun , you said you are profuse

under the spell of your touch and scent
I did not comprehend what you meant

honeybun, you taught me what sunburn
is, honey, I love how you punch heartburn

let me unlock your feats, your benefits–
as laudable gels are your byproducts

we all seek to stay happy and hydrated
water-dense, you can’t be underrated

you help us detox, purge and flush out
impurities, as we take you after a workout

soothing like a careful, cool sweetheart
massaging like a caring, cleansing dearest

when one wants to keep the skin clear,
and hydrated ,they take you without fear

you don’t only heal burns, there is a wealth
of proof that you boost oral and digestive health

you excite me as you inspire peristalsis to help pass
stool without hurt or hassle, you are in your class!

natural laxative, go on fixing fissures, treating the skin
aloe vera, you patch up puffy gums, sunburn ,heartburn

you come to our rescue when we are constipated
your nutrients and benefits leave us captivated

The End

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শুদ্ধি চাই ভিলেন পাশাপাশি উষ্ণতার সান্নিধ্যহীনতা ২১’শের নগর জীবন ভোরের কণ্ঠে চাতক পাখি …
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